Matches for 7-29-08 (5-5)

We started off this week with a very solid start, going 5-0. Then all of a sudden we hit a brick wall. We believe there was a glitch in the matrix that caused our weapons to malfunction. Uzo's 'I Win' button was broke. I ran out of snakes. Underlok's mace turned into a hot chick which caused him to bubble for protection.


Favre is God - Won
Favre is God - Won
Favre is God – Won
Silent but deadly – Won
Red Knight Destroyers – Won
Individually Wrapped – Lost
Individually Wrapped - Lost
Individually Wrapped – Lost
Kill the Pally – Lost
Nymphetamine - Lost

Behind the Carnage - Uzo

We at Behind the Carnage had the opportunity to sit down and chat with Uzo, infamous member of both the Elite and Electric Jalapenos, at his palacious mansion in southern Dun Morogh.  Our documentaries profile the hottest celebrities and asks the hard-hitting questions that you the public expect of a responsible news organization. Tonite's episode is exactly that, this giant of a man wrapped in a 4'9" frame has taken Azeroth by storm and caused mother's around the region to hide their daughters. Uzo waltzed into our interview wearing a silk smoking jacket and gigantic sunglasses, puffing on a soap bubble pipe.

BTC: Thanks for taking the time out for this interview, it's exciting for both myself personally and your 12 adoring fans.

Uzo: Absolutely, anything I can do for the people... I believe we celebrities have the responsibility to make ourselves as accessible as possible. We are after all, role models for today's impressionable youth.

BTC: Speaking of "role models" I wanted to ask you about your involvement and upcoming court trial regarding the murder-prostitution-gambling-drug trafficking-mail fraud ring that has all the World (of Warcraft) up in arms. Is it true you were arrested wearing only polka dot boxers with little gnomes on them?

At this point we were asked to leave.

Matches for 7-22-2008 (4-6)

Here are the results of our first 3 vs 3 matches. As you can see, we zapped the living crap out of these teams. They didn't stand a chance. 6,000,000 volts in the loss column, 4,000,000 volts in the win column. I don't know about you, but I know I would rather take 4,000,000 volts than taking 6,000,000 volts to the face.

We Need A Team Name – Lost
We Need A Team Name - Lost
Dismount and Dominate – Lost
Guerreros – Won
Guerreros - Won
Bubble Port ftw – Lost
The Imperial Element – Lost
The Shroom Brigade – Won
The Shroom Brigade - Lost
The Shroom Brigade - Won

Yes it's me - It isn't a rumor anymore!

Welcome to Electirc Jalapeno’s leetsauce website and my first post. If you are here I assume it is because you just got wtfpwnedomghax. If not, you will so don’t worry about it.

So while I’m sure that most everyone that visits the site will know me (UnderLoK) as I’m known in the pvp scene some of you may not. If you are one of the newbs that doesn’t well just know that if you see me you are about to get roflstomped by a holy pali. I do it with a 42dps mace and a shield because it’s the only way anyone even stands a chance.

Anyways, yesterday was our first time out as a crew. While I told people I would never have a stupid hunter in my group, well we have one because he shoots arrows and stuff that do damage and I mean wth while I can do 3v1 anyways I thought these guys should be able to leech off of me to get some gear because they suck. The rogue isn’t bad, but I hate rogues they are so OP and hax half the time and of coarse we end up getting the one rogue in all of Azeroth that doesn’t hack… well so he says anyways I did see him disappear while he was in combat yesterday, but that seems like the most common hax so I dunno if that even counts.

So yea… We did our 10 matches lastnight and lost 6 of the 10… Some of you might be wondering how I could loose, I mean I am Cpt. Leetsauce.. Well a couple weeks ago Blizz dissolved my 3v3 team because we were too good. We were pwning everyone and they said that if I keep it up they would ban my account so I have to keep it chill and loose some here and there to keep them for screwing me over. The 4 teams we did beat however were the non-newbs, they were all ranked around 2200 so we flexed on those guys to keep face but lost to the newbs just cause it looks better that way.

I would say the highlight of the battles were when I was consecrating all the newbs to death while Koncept and Uzo went to smoke. We qued up, they afk’d and I roflstomped a 2100 ranked team by myself.. Some of you may say “no way that isn’t possible” well that is because you have never seen me play. I have the leetest gear (I wear junk gear just to give people a chance) in game and the most experience ever with 345,000 kills lifetime. I know what I’m doing and even though I’m spec’d for heals I have some wicked crit gear some my judgments pwn.

Well that is it for now… Expect to see more of us soon, but not too much. Blizz if you’re reading this thanks discriminating against me because I’m too good for the newbs that play your game… Thanks for not actually giving me my money and kicking me out of the pvp tourney because I was undefeated.. You guys are just lucky that this is a game because IRL I would come down there and do stuff.